Dear Maire,
“February 5th.
That was the end all date. Make it to February 5th, and all will be well. Science Fair was due. Science Night was the day prior. You have a piano recital. And a test on the constitution. And an essay, excuse me, position paper due. But most importantly, acceptance letters from private high schools are sent out. On the dreaded Feb 5th, I had ran out of *censored* to give. I went to school in sweatpants (something I swore I would never do, so help me God), with my glasses on (too lazy for contact lenses), and hair up. While my appearance was absolutely begrudged, I was determined nothing could ruin my day. So I began.
My science fair project was stellar; I did it on retrograde amnesia treatment, mind you. In drama class, we started recording radio plays. This is a really cool, but long, project that involves writing and producing your own script. Anyways, I started laughing in the middle of one of my lines. Just so you know, I have a ridiculously high pitched laugh, and in this play I (female) am supposed to play this over the top, masculine superhero. So, I’m laughing , and my boyfriend *SQUEALS* starts joking with me, “Ahh yes, Captain America, our savior.” Of course, I start laughing even harder. It was the first time I’ve genuinely smiled in a long time. Science Night: ugh. I was co-leader of the whole thing this year and had been planning it since November. The night was filled with experiments, demonstrations, and robots and ran without a hitch. That was on Feb 4th. Night of Feb 5th, I had a piano recital. My piece was ready, but when I sat down at that bench, my mind was in a totally different place. I failed, and that’s an understatement. The constitution test was easy, but still took the whole period because I’m just slow like that. The position paper “exceeded my teacher’s ability to write” (her words), but I’ll still get a 94% thanks to the broken grading scale. Whatever.
Everything was lifted; they were weights off my chest. I felt free. All of these things I worked towards relentlessly were finished and polished and shining bright as diamonds. Every fight had about those *censored* private schools was erased when the first acceptance letter came at 3:40. The next one came at 3:41. It was real. I smiled. I was ecstatic. I cried, and I shouted. I felt like a bird.
Then I realized it. *censored*. Talent show’s Feb 11. MOML’s the 18. Sonatina Festival 20. MATHCOUNTS 27. Science Olympiad March 5. The bird started to be weighed down by new bricks. As the new Feb 5ths approach, I realize: you just have to make it to the next one.”
Sincerely, Adi
AdiMaire. 